What is it that each and every customer wants
from us? And no...it's not $100 over invoice!
Since the
dominant buying motive differs from customer to customer,
what could the common need be? It's this:
The most basic of all human needs is to be valued and
understood.
It's what our spouses want when they have to tell us about the
book they're reading, it's what our kids want when they show us
their latest "boo-boo", and it's what each and every one of our
customers wants every time they walk through that door. We've
heard it before; our customer doesn't care how much we know until
they know how much we care.
I have found that one of the most effective ways to help our
customer feel valued and understood is through a skill called
active listening.
There are four elements to active listening. They are:
1) attentive body language,
2) verbal attends,
3) leading questions,
4) restating.
Let's take a look at each of these elements.
Attentive Body Language. By this I mean open posture, good
eye contact, lean slightly forward, smile, nod our head
occasionally, and raise our eyebrows sometimes. We need to avoid
finger tapping, folded arms, looking away, looking at our watch,
shifting our weight too often, yawning, and nodding off.
It's important we remember the formula 55-38-7. In 1967, in a
study done at UCLA, professor Albert Mehrabian found that, in
face to face communication, 55% of our message is conveyed
through physiology, 38% is through tone/tempo/volume, and only 7%
is conveyed through the words we use. So we need to pay close
attention to what we tell our customers through our body and
through the way we say things.
Verbal Attends. These are little verbal clues that let our
customer know we're interested. Things like "I see" or "uh-huh"
or "really?" or "go on" or "sure, sure" etc.
Just verbally letting them know "Okay buddy, I'm with you." Remember: to be
interesting, be interested.
Leading Questions. These are designed to do two things.
First it lets the other person know we're interested and second
it helps them to completely express their idea, complaint or
concern. Questions like "then what happened?" or "how did it make
you feel?" or "anything else?", etc.
Restate. We all probably already do this. That is
paraphrasing back to the other person what we thought they said
to us. Doing this will help us to eliminate any
misunderstandings, it allows us to exclude from any further
discussion irrelevant or undesired points and it confirms to the
other person that we actually were listening! Most importantly,
it gives them the opportunity to feel valued and understood. Once
we've paced their most basic of all human needs, then and only
then can we hope be able to lead them in any way.
Most of us only listen passively and active listening requires
a little more effort. So, just like anything else we want to do
well, it too will take a good amount of practice. I assure you,
however, it will be time well spent.
The skill of active
listening has made me more money than any closing technique or
any whiz-bang sales strategy I know! It's also a skill I
encourage you to take home with you.
My hope for you is that,
like it has for me, the skill of active listening will help to
improve every relationship in your life.
© Copyright 1997 by Michael D. Hargrove and Bottom Line Underwriters, Inc. All rights reserved.
Michael D. Hargrove is President of Bottom Line Underwriters Inc. and can be reached at the contact points below.
